Tuesday, November 20, 2012

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Thankful for this year's gifts

As thanksgiving approaches, and we become nostalgic, my heart oddly turns inward this year.  It seems that all of the gifts I have been given this year, focus on myself, my heart, my peace of mind.  So here is what I am thankful for.

I am thankful that my son has acclimated to college, even though he appears to be much happier away from home than he was at home.  It makes me sad that he wasn't as happy at home, but I have come to realize that he was becoming a man, and had an urge to go out into the world, and not hang on to
mommy.  Because our lives are so suburban, and he doesn't like to drive, his only option was to wait to be on a college campus to explore and be truly happy.  This lesson learned has made me more purposeful about giving my daughter more freedom.

I am thankful for an argument with my brother where he revealed that he never liked anything about me, and made it clear that nothing I ever did or could do would change that.  Oddly, he was trying to get me to be the sister HE wanted, and not myself.  (Of course he wanted someone to he could walk all over, and would financially support his adult... self.)  Regardless, It was the best gift I could have been given all year because I realized that I might as well embrace being myself, because pretending to be anything else would never be good enough anyway.

I am grateful that the next stage of my life is being thrust upon me as I prepare to graduate my second and last homeschooler, just one year after graduating the first.  I still don't  know exactly what direction I am going in because the work I want to do is not really materializing, but I know it will be an adventure, so I won't be sad that my kids are growing up and leaving... I will be happy that I get the chance to grow into another level of maturity myself.

I am also thankful that my husband of 20 years still plans to spend the rest of my days with me sharing whatever is to come next.



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