Filled Under: journal
On sons and daughters
I spoke to my son a few days ago. He was stressed about some technology issues he was having at school, and during the course of our conversation, I could hear his stress melt away. I did nothing to make the situation better. I only gave him the opportunity to vent. It made me glad that I was still of use to my son, and as the conversation wound down, I said, so I will talk to you soon, goodbye. I initiated the end of the conversation with my son.
I spoke to my daughter yesterday. I texted her in the early afternoon that I needed to hear her voice. I couldn't get my mind off her, and I just wanted to know she was fine fill my personal need for a connection with her. Not being able to reach her actually made me kind of frantic. I began to have unfound worries. I began to obsess. I grew sad. Finally she called me, and the weight lifted, but I wanted to stay on the phone with her forever.
One might think that I love my daughter more than my son. But I don't. I don't him more than her either, but we just have different connections. I always expected my son to go forth on his own and make his way independent of me... after all, he's a dude. But being am introvert, he has always needed a little push to get things going. For that reason, we have always had the kind of relationship where I am at his back... nudging him forward. On the other hand, while it has always been apparent that my daughter was fiercely independent, we have always had the kind of relationship where I hold onto her with both arms, enjoying every minute she would give me before she would pull away, and try something new that I would never-ever consider doing.
I don't really have a synopsis for this post, just pondering the differences in my relationships with each child that I have spent 90% of my time with for the past decade or so, only to have them grow up and go forth.
That is all. Any therapists want to weigh in.
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