Sunday, February 9, 2014

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On Being Black and Homeschooling, Part 5

This is my final word on being black and homeschooling.  For the foreseeable future.

You can catch up here:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

I just don't feel like I ever got to the meat of what I wanted to say.

In all my personal struggles through the loneliness and relative isolation I felt, I have to say that I am ecstatic with the results.

Sure bad things happened:

  • Tensions around the 2008 and 2012 elections as I live in a mostly white Southern Conservative Community, and am none of these things. 
  • A few individuals making my race an issue in what they felt were personal conversations... "you know, just chatting over differences, iron sharpening iron". 
  • Not always feeling included socially, and sometimes feeling like my kids were barely included.
  • People saying dumb stuff to me that barely hid certain biases.
Meanwhile, good things happened:
  • My kids had an excellent education through collaboration with their fine arts program, and hands on, at home homeschooling. 
  • My kids finding confidence and embracing their personal talents
  • My kids having pretty good social lives with kids that were well raised
  • My kids moving on to the college level and each thriving in their own way. 
And in the end, I want to leave a bit of advice to my fellow black homeschoolers
  • Don't be afraid to be uncomfortable
  • Don't be afraid to be the only one
  • Don't let personal preferences prevent you from doing what is best for your kids
  • Remember that what is best for you or most comfortable for you may not be what your kids need.
  • Don't let others exclude you... include yourself. 
  • Kill them with kindness. 
  • Don't be apologetic for who you are. Let them know that you are just was awesome as they are.
  • Extend invitations, and let others get to know you. 
  • Make friends... you will find allies where you least expect them. 
  • Diplomatically, demand your child gets their fair share. 
  • Don't walk away when it gets hard.  Anything worth doing IS HARD.
Finally, to anyone who made it to the end of this series who wants to run or be in a program that includes people of all races and types. 
  • Find a way to let go of biases and preconceived notions.. (assuming the black family in your homeschool group needs hand-me-down clothes, or any other hand-out is not cool, unless you know their financial status... Showing shock and awe when you realize they live in a big house in a gated community is not cool either.)
  • Think of how activities chosen might affect those who are not like you... not all families want to do another Civil war-1960's era play where there are not roles for any ethic children... and they certainly don't want their kids stuck playing servants.  Also, in theatre programs, consider color-blind auditions
  • When choosing uniforms and choir outfits... consider all body types.. Not just for the ethnic & curvy girls, but for the plus sized girls too. 
  • Consider that all the families in the homeschool group may not want to do another Civil War reenactment...  Not everyone gets the novelty of it. 
  • Please, please, please, don't role-play slavery for a history lesson.. for the love of God please don't... at all... ever. 
  • Make a concerted effort to make friends with EVERYONE in your group, even if it feels awkward at first. 
  • Choose diversity in the teaching staff... that will attract diversity in the student body.  
  • Remember, diversity is not just good for the ethic children, it is good for all the children to grow up in a community that looks like the real world. 
OK.  I think I'm done.  

I love you all. 



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